you were my eyes when i couldn't see
you were my air when i couldn't breathe
RiaSabrina/NanaCyber. Twenty. Married To My Teenage Sweetheart. Together For Almost Seven Years, Married For Nearly Four. Mum To Two Adorable Kids.
I Love Them To Death. They Are My Reason For Living.
CUPCAKE(S) DROPPIN BY
My Life, My Joy, My Everything.
My Dearest,Most Sweetest Husband, Ramadhan.
My Beautiful Daughter, Nur Alesha Adriana. 23nov06.
My Dashing Son, Muhammad Adryan Shah. 06dec07.
Sunday, July 15, 2007, 10:56 AM
*hello((:went out yesterday,
with b, daughter, his mum, siblings & ayie.
he said his boss called and he need not go to work.
but then when he met me, ayie was there too.
bukan tak suka urh, how come both not working at the same time?
ayie woke up late?? yelah ey.
where is the independent you?
before ayie came back to us?
i just don't want you to skip work just because he's not working.
we need the money damn it. unlike him.
and its starting to piss me off when he's there with us 24/7.
when i said i accepted him, doesn't mean i love him tagging along everywhere we go.
tengok tempat urh. yesterday was considered a family outing okeys.
what is he? my brother? or yours? fuck.
oke whatever.
we window shopped at joo chiat complex.
bimla and bla bla bla.
and now we already know what we want.
its in the list. thank god we can put those aside.
and maybe, just maybe, the date will be 22 aug.
ceh tasha, cam sama jer 22. kakaka.
but wait, that is the date for nikah at ROM.
the majlis will be on the saturday, the 25th.
easier for everyone who's working or schooling.
and korang korang, if u guys ingat my majlis will be like those grand weddings.
its not. sad to say laa but the main thing is to get it over and done with.
asalkan ader jugak majlis kita bikin. u know laa our situations.
pity hunnie as he work so hard yet all the money is used for our big day.
nih baru bikin kecik kecik. nak bikin besar2 rase rase tahun depan urh aru dapat kawin.
hahas.
tapi tetap berkat ada and all la aites.
yang invited, nak datang tuh datang.
takmo cerewet. lau nak aku ader sanding2 seme, kau kasi kita duit urh k.
5000 cukup urhs. haha.
maybe we will have a proper sanding later on in years to come.
insyallah.
and now, i've planned with them.
im gonna look for a part time job.
sekarang jugak urh.
senang sikit.
i can buy my own stuffs using my own money.
i can't wait and depend on him laa.
time is running out.
and im currently so pissed with some people.
those i thought would understand me and encourage me.
this has been botherin me for the past week.
i mean, its not that i don't want to work.
and that i only depend on him.
and that i don't care about my daughter.
for the time being, I CAN'T WORK FULL TIME.
BECAUSE, i have preparations to make.
i'll be busy going here and there.
to and fro.
and i'll have courses to attend.
you can't expect me to start work now and take leave countlessly right?
is that so hard to understand?
and i don't need serious jobs just to feed my daughter.
i know what is enough for her.
i may be young but i am not stupid.
and speaking of young, i am not about to sacrifice the joys of life mainly because i have a daughter at this young age.
i still have dreams and i know how to reach them.
i know how to divide my time.
you speak as if i don't love my own flesh and blood.
i know you love and care for her.
but i gave birth to her. no matter how hard you try to understand or think that you know how much i love her, you never will.
only mothers know how much our child means to us.
just because your an adult, it doesn't mean that you know.
so don't tell me that my daughter is growing and i need to buck up.
i can see it for myself.
you think i don't feel terrible that i can't get myself a job after trying so many times?
you know what trying means? you know how tired i am and how dissapointed i am with myself?
all you know is urging me and lecturing me.
if you still don't get it, I TRIED already.
not just once or twice. countless okeh.
so i told you, i can work full time only after marriage.
and that is only a month away.
is that so late?
aniway, im not gonna take a job that i don't enjoy.
i know your gonna say think about her.
but first, put yourself in my shoes.
i am young only once.
im never gonna return to being seventeen again.
i am gona look for a job.
a job that i will enjoy and i will have money for my daughter.
i don't need your help.
you only see but you don't know what i feel and how stressed i am.
my mom knows me so well and not once did she force me like you did.
all i need is your understanding and encouragement.
so please.