you were my eyes when i couldn't see
you were my air when i couldn't breathe

RiaSabrina/NanaCyber. Twenty. Married To My Teenage Sweetheart. Together For Almost Seven Years, Married For Nearly Four. Mum To Two Adorable Kids. I Love Them To Death. They Are My Reason For Living.


My Life, My Joy, My Everything.
My Dearest,Most Sweetest Husband, Ramadhan.
My Beautiful Daughter, Nur Alesha Adriana. 23nov06.
My Dashing Son, Muhammad Adryan Shah. 06dec07.

Friday, July 16, 2010, 5:27 PM

I've Been To Hell & Back.

Life has been bliss. For NOW.
Yes, for now.
Who knows what else Allah has planned for me.

Well, I've been taking things slow, going from day to day, building the trust that was far long gone.

I need my girls. No. I WANT my girls. I need to see them.
I wanna let loose. Anyone?

Ok so, 2 more days. 2 more days to mark our Sixth Year together.
Yeah, u bet im proud. People say im dumb to persevere, that im stupid to hold on and that i deserve so much better.
Yes, i somehow agree. But sometimes when we are together, and when he treats me so good, i just keep forgetting how he treats me so bad and so, i keep running back.

Well, they say love is blind.

So we're hoping for the better and we'll see how it goes.
Aniways, we are planning for our long awaited honeymoon which is 3 years late. LOL.
Can't Wait !!!!!!

And to my love, here's to you in advance.

Happy 6th Year Anniversary Darling.
You know i love you, and i will always stay true.
Hugs & Kisses.

Monday, May 31, 2010, 5:27 AM

In life you need one thing to survive.

Its simply the ability to realize shit happens.

You step in it, you accept it, you get the fuck over it, and you keep walking.

I can totally relate to the quote above right now.
Moving on is like, the best thing to do.
No doubt, its hard. But like i'd said, this is my fight. And i'll fight till i've achieved success and happiness.

Whats done cannot be undone.
I can only hope and pray things will get better.
With the help of my loved ones, hopefully my willpower will increase and grow stronger.
These past few days i've been told im not the one at the losing end.
I was told, i was not to blame and i have every right to live my life the way i think i should.
That is, to fill it with love & joy. Pain is no doubt, parts & parcel of life.
Therefore, i've got to stand on my own 2 feet and look ahead.

Im one strong girl, i'll survive.
I've survived 6 years of this, i should be able to endure this one.
True much?
Thanks to my loved ones, i've got the strength to overcome this.

And to you, i love you so very much. As i always had.
I know it hurts you as well. You loved me wholeheartedly.
I know, your love has never wavered. Not an inch.
But i've got to learn. I've got to teach u a thing or two.
I've learnt about survival, and u should too.
People see you betraying, thinking your love has never matched mine.
But only i know you. Only i know the REAL you.
You've ever only cried for me, noone else.
That, i gotta take some credit.
I was the only one who managed to make u cry.
You bet im proud!

So lets start a new chapter.
Lets build this new relationship on a whole new level.
I don't wanna lose what we have built this far.
You are my love, my superstar.

Thursday, May 27, 2010, 10:42 PM

A s i expected, my happiness was shortlived.
My fingers are shivering as type this, hot tears streaming down...
I was so very happy just few months ago...And while it was bad before the shortlived happiness, it has gotten far worse now..Im at my deepest stage of depression right now..I'll be mad in no time soon..Having noone to share this with certainly will speed that up..
Im in no position to be a good mom & daughter at this current stage..
Everything's falling apart..I've never been so down before..My heart is breaking into pieces...
How i wish, things have gone way differently back then..Im not ashame of it..I , i confess, i regret everything..You all may laugh but this, i really got to learn..This is my fight..Im so tired, i have no strength to do so..Running away may not be the wisest choice..But this is what i have to do, to straighthen myself up, to build my confidence.I know im losing it but i can't help it..I've had suicidal thoughts but no, my kids still need me. My parents still want me..Only the person that i truly want doesn't want me enough like before..Im at my wits end..I don't know what i should do..Is this really the end or is this all a joke, a test? I wished i had treated my friends better, im sure they are laughing right this minute..My only confidante is not with me, she, the one who will tell me, '' be strong, pick urself up! don't lose it! '' but she's not here to tell me to. Im running around in circles, searching for a place to hide, to escape from this all..Allah, pls help me. Please show me the way, guide me to the path where i'll learn to accept all this and truly move on.....

Sunday, May 16, 2010, 10:56 PM


Okay, lets see.

1. we've finally decided that enough is enough. we need help so its about time. we went to cdc for financial help.
2. been trying to apply for rental flat through HDB shitty website more than 5 times but to no avail. have to make a trip all the way down to toa payoh. nabei lu.
3. hunnie looking for new job.
4. daughter's school is killing me with the homeworks and fees.
5. workplace has been hell. i thought i was enjoying it till last week. so not! aku nk lari.
6. i can't breath in my own damn fcuking house thanks to someone. dad says, ''buat bodo sudah la. this is your house what no matter what. pekak kan telinga suda la.'' but hey, if i can't even eat, watch tv, sleep as and when i like in my so called OWN HOUSE, what for? grrrrrr.
7. i need my friends. i need the ' all hell break loose ' kind of reunion. i wanna let myself go for once, just to release all my stress.
8. i need to CLUB!!
9. i fell out with one of my best girls again. because of....... MONEY. yeah, true. so shitty. fcuk friendship.
10. once i have my own house, i'll have a big party! you all owe me one!

K, NITES !!!

Thursday, May 6, 2010, 11:56 PM

Younger Days.
Awwww. So Chubby!!
Perfect In My Eyes.
Candid Shot.
Papa's Favourite.
The Younger Ria.
Sis & Me.
We're Quite The Opposites.
She, The Temperamental One.
Me, The Bubbly One.

Im Bored.
Guess I've Lost The Kick In Blogging.

Im In Cloud 9 Right Now But I Don't Have Any Idea What To Update.
Shoot Me. Goodnight.

Monday, April 26, 2010, 11:17 PM

My Dear Turned 21 On Saturday.
Seems Like Just Yesterday We Celebrated His 16th.

We Went Fishing As Part Of The Celebration And Spent 2 Whole Nights At Changi Beach.
Had A Blast, Had Blisters & Aches All Over Too. (:
But Everything Was Worth It, You Were Worth All Of It.

May The Force Be With You, May You Be Blessed With Good Health.
Good Luck & Best Wishes.
I Will Always Love You.

Saturday, April 17, 2010, 11:23 AM

Why am i always the one cornered and attacked?
Why isn't anyone thinking of me?
Why does everyone listen to only one side?
What about me? What about my feelings? What about my problems?
Doesn't anyone wish to listen?
Everyone sides with who they THINK is right.
My fault too as i've never revealed my problems before.
But when i give chances, i take in all insults, i persevere, i keep everything to myself, am i still and forever will be the bad one?
Where is justice? I've been wrongly accused.
I don't know who to turn to, where to turn to.
Life is cruel. Now i know, now i get it.
And now, im looking for a place i can escape to.
Where noone can find me, where noone can insult me, where noone can find me a nuisance.
I just wanna find peace and i wanna be FREE.

Thursday, April 1, 2010, 5:29 AM

My Babies.
All Grown Up.


Friday, March 26, 2010, 8:12 AM

O M G.


Can You Seriously Believe It??

I Wanna Go Back To Thirteen!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, March 7, 2010, 3:55 AM

Hey People!
I Know, I Know, My Blog's Dead!
No Thanks To My Super Lousy Macbook Adapter!
It Ain't Working So I Can't Update!
And My Bloody Good Employer Now Bans Us From Using The Net For Personal Reasons.
Thanks A Bunch!

So Guys, You Won't Be Hearing From Me For Some Time.
Not That You'll Miss Me Aniway. My Tagboard Is Half Dead Too. LOL!

Oke So, This Is One Of The Rare Moments When I Could Finally Charge This Damn Thing
So Here's A Quick Update.
Hmmmmm, Lets See.

- Sister Turned 14! Bought Her Hair Spray & Perfume. She's So Addicted To All This Hair Care Stuff, Seriously, I Don't Get It. We're Like From 2 Different Planets. HA HA! And She Got Her Long Awaited Guitar From Mom & Dad! Lucky Ass! I Don't Even Get Presents From Them Anymore, Just The Yummy Birthday Cakes! Haha. That'll Do. So, Lets Countdown, Im Hitting The Big TWENTY In 13 Freaking Days! I Wanna Go Back To Thirteen! Arrrghhhhhhh!

RIGHT, Next!

- My Darling Boy & Pretty Girl Is Down With Fever And Cough! Its Been A Week Now And Thanks To Them Mom, Sis & Me Were All Affected! Can't Wait For Them To Recover And Get Back To Their Active, Annoying Selfs! LOL! Especially Babygirl, She Has The Worse Bug And Has Been Missing School. So Heartbreaking To See Her So Down, Tired, Listless, With No Appetite & Sleeping Through The Days. Come On Babies! Time To Recover. We HAVE To Get Out Of The House. Let's Go Soak In The Sun! I Love You Both!

- Awesome Stuff Now. Pay Has Increased! No Doubt, Not Much. But Still! YAY!

- More Good News Now.
Hunnie Has Turned Over A New Leaf. From What I See La. Hehe.
I Can See The Changes. Its Awesome And I Definitely Am Enjoying Every Bit Of It! I Love The Attitude Change Though His Irritating Habits Are Still There. Its Oke, People Don't Change Overnight And Im Happy Enough Now That He's Finally Putting His Family First. I Knew It. I Knew If I Gave Him Time, He'll Eventually Change. I Hope Its Permanent. I Hate It When These Joyful Moments Are Shortlived. Now All I Have To Do Is Cut Off All His Bad Ass Friends. Just So He Wouldn't Be Influenced Again. He Has That Annoying Habit You Know. Some Friends Say He's Under QC ( Queen Control )! The Cheek Of Them!! Its Called R E S P E C T Boys! And Love! Thats How WE, MARRIED Couples Are. Thanks!

- Now Work! Work Has Been Rather Depressing. They Don't Seem To Understand That Even I Can Forget. Yes! Even When I Write It Down In My Diary, Sometimes I DO STILL FORGET! Im Human After All. Sorry, You're Not The Only One With The Heavy Workload Here. I Do Too! What With The New Staff Who's Still Not Getting It, With The Paperwork Here And There, New Orders, Bla Bla Bla! Marine Industry Always So Kiasu! Sometimes I LOVE My Job, Sometimes I Wished I Had Stayed In The Retail Industry! Hmph. Life!

- Also! I Got A Pregnancy Scare!!!! I Was Late For A Week Then I Got Dizzy Spells, Was Nauseous 24/7 & Had No Appetite! Though It Must Have Been The Fever. But Still, Just Imagine My Panic! But Nah, It Came And So, Im Saved. You Guys Should Have Seen The Relief On Hunnie's Face When I Told Him. He Actually Turned White When I Said I Was Late. Haha!

Oke, So Thats It! I Have No Idea When My Next Entry Will Be. I Actually Have Tons Of New Pics But You Know La. Can't Post, Can't Update! So, Please Miss Me And Please Tag! HA HA!
Good Day Everyone! XOXO! T A T A !